Relationships..Abusive

No one really knows and i dont go out  of my way to tell anyone at all, but earlyer tonight sitting at ihop with my two new best friends.. (of course dont tell that to some other girls i know lol)  Tracy and Sofia while listening to sofia's crazy Ex story i thought of my own.. crazy and dark past with my Ex Brandon Senior.. god thinking about that still hunts me today and it was like 5 or 6 years ago.. i moved to reading/ Hillsdale Michigan when i was 15, i am from montcalm Mi. My mom thought i would be ok to move a 3nd generation mustang (that was the name of the high school i was support to finish at) to the bottom of michigan that should of been called shitville. She got a flower shop in Montcalm and i was popluar.. and in cheerleading and she was involoved in everything.. life was good and it was just us 3 girls..cause my mom never remarried after my dad and her until that damn flower shop.. she got on the computer and BAM i ended up in Reading while my mom married some really really abusive asshole, (to this day i plan on going back and killing!) anywho she married him and he was abusive in a sience that he would say things.. and act a certain way. He was a really bad guy.. he had been married before and his wife died.. (lucky) ever sience then he would get married and not stay married real long.. well my mom was happy for a while.. and i had to have the normal life of family dinners and all that family time.. i hated it and missed my freinds.. alot that were about three hours away from me now. I grew up with Azlynn, Aden, Cody and my sister Alora.. all my life and now it was just Alora and me. We went to reading school and lets just say it was scarey and the people were bad too... Tracy that guy that my mom ended up marrying was weird and everybody could see it..he would hug me and always want to hang out with me not my mom...my grandma hated him and my mom still swears she thinks he wanted to sleep with me..shes glad he ended it first cause she was going to soon too! Well the school was bad and were we lived was scarey too... in the back yard was a mill for grain and a train that ran right through are back yard! Across the yard was a popane place and kitty corner to us was a scarey looking trainer that a boy named Cody, lived in and history from him that i dont care to remember. Through this guy named Tracy AAron.. I met brandon Senior... big mistake.. We went over to a friends house of tracys one night.. and i walked into a pole barn with a whole bunch of farmers drinking beer which didnt scare me cause i was used to men drinking beer cause my family are hunters. Well i figured it was going to be shitty night n i was going to be bored..well brandon was about 16 at the time or alittle younger.. he walked into the barn and at first he didnt see me.. but i saw him and i loved his blue eyes, strong arms and that hick farmer look.. so i moved out of the way of the drunk farmers and we locked eyes.. i could tell it was love at first sight. We started talking, while are parents talked and soon he asked if i wanted to see his baby calfs and farm animals and i asked if i could and my mom was nervous because she didnt know these ppl or the animals but she said yes after everybody said it would be ok, she actually asked in front of Barb his mother "if i would be ok out there with him"! Barb was like, "yeah?" lol so we went out side and it was winter and the moon was boncing off the white snow so everything looked blue.. we walked out to the back of the house and i petted the calfs and the goats.. i have really never been around farm animals.. before i moved to hillsdale so i was so happy. We hung around out there for a while but then i had to go..we didnt see each other for a while after that. But one day i found out he was coming over to are house so i got in the shower and tryed to get ready but i took to long and he was gone by the time i got out. I was bummed..but then i got involoved with tracys other friends son named matt..he was like 3 or 4 years older then me.. and was li a senior in high school. He wouldnt talk to me at school but afterwards he would come to our house and hang with me. He would have family/friends party at his house with 4 wheelers and we all go trail ridding and mudding it was fun with a huge bombfire. It was like every night. We would kiss and all but never did anything else.. i guess i heard that tracy told him that he slept with me that he would kill him! wow right. anywho.. we would go swimming and go out to the lake and do everything togeather.. soon that faded away. I dont really remember how i got back into seeing brandon but all i can remember is that we were at Toms house a huge pig farmer in Reading MI (other one of tracys friends) and brandon and his family was there and i was there hanging with brandon in the office in the garage with all the men while the women were in the house.. and tracy went inside then came busting in the garage and grapped his jacket which was on the back of my chair and ripping some of my hair out! i yelped in pain and brandon shot up.. like he was going to attack tracy but tracy left.. i dont know why but i know he was mad at my mom.. for some fucked up reason. We had alot of bomb fires at toms house too...michigan is the place to have bomb fires lol. But i do remember that after that i started hanging with him alot and mom took us to see a movie and we dropped him off one night on a back road and are car got stuck in a snow drift.. and i had to go back up the house and get him..we were happy to see each other again but he helped us and we drove away..no night i spent that night at his house and i was support to on the couch and he on the floor but we would cuddle up and watch tv and every time his mom or dad got up to go pee..we would dive into are spots. One time he was holding me and his mom came out and he dropped me! lol but we grew up togeather and he even taught me to drive alittle in his dads car in a feild. He was a farmer and no one else was in his family so when he started trying to farm..he had to get a new place that was bigger. So his folks and him got a huge farm with a huge three story house and a huge like foot ball field barn with pastures and all that. Well we started dating and i lived out there for three whole long years togeather..well my mom made me come home for school though some times he would take me to school. My mom loved him but she still doesnt know that dark things that happened and i saw. My mom and tracy split up and he found a new husband at burger king where she was the manger of.. and his name was darren. He actually asked her for coffee.. the same day tracy said he wanted to split up..weird. So they got togeather and i loved the guy ever since.. he lived in hillsdale and i am so glad he came along and got me out of reading! But i soon learned the dark past of brandon.. his dad and left his mom.. and brandon when brandon was young and brandon had seen the fight between his parents.. hitting and cursing and all that..and his dad used and probably still does hit his mom! I saw it! I heard it! LIKE father, like son! brandon hit me all the time... i had bloody lips.. bruises, cuts and one time he pushed me on the ground and kicked me as hard as he could in the ass and i lied and said i couldnt move, he started crying and picked me up and took me in the trainer that was along the barn where me and him stayed at night.. every time he would hurt me he would cry and say he was sorry.. i stayed for three years.. and the time when he was beating me and i fell and he kicked me i screamed as loud as i could for help cause there was a farmer on a hill about a half of mile away and i was hopping he would hear me.. he didnt or didnt care. When brandons parents would get in a fight brandon would try to hid me away and not let me see what was going on and he would go into the house and try to break it up.. i would sneak up in the shandows and see them fight.. one time i got in his huge diesel truck and tryed to put it in 4 wheel drive to take off and couldnt and he came out of the house.. he was mad. That truck was his baby.. We also had alot of great times.. and i loved that farm. He thought me about amimals and i was soon raising my own cows and had a pet cow named skittles that would let me brush her, sit on her, and would come when i called.. i miss her alot every day and when we split i couldnt take her. I left her there and go figure she is dead now..huh weird huh. But i loved the farm and i thought i loved him but i didnt.. i was only there cause it was my first love and i gave it all i could.. all of me. I was happy before.. i used to be a happy kid but after that i became angry.. i mean brandon woundn't even start it some times i would just attack him and we get in a fist fight. At the end he cheated on me..go figure his father did it.. with a girl that didnt even end up with him..she ended up with his best friend. i found this all out by a paper that was in art class that read, "cowboy" that was the name of the calf that one of brandons cows had that it wouldnt take of so brandon had to bottle feed it and all. Her name was Amber and she was a cowgirl her self.. i hate her. lol still to this day lol. The guy she ended up with would always look at me like he knew.. i could tell there was "sorry" in his eyes.. i dont know he was always nice to me. Anyway brandon did buy me my own horse that opened a new door for me and made it possible for me to get out along with amber. He bought it for me and i was trying to ride it and wasnt having good luck so he hoped on back and was trying to help me when the horse named Rocky started bucking we both flew off and i got knocked out and my left arm became dislocated..  i woke up and looked over and it was at a weird angle.. i went into shock as soon as i saw it. They rushed me to the hospital.. and tryed to give me one of those things that lights up when your table is ready but brandon screamed at them and i got in faster lol.. in the xray barb went with me and they tired to get my arm away from my body to get an xray  and i wanted to do was hold it to my self and scream and cry and keep saying the same thing over and over, " help me" finally they got out enough to do a xray as i screamed in horror and so did barb at the nurses.. finally the pain as to much and they put me in bed and put an iv in a gave me pain killer.. i started shaking and as soon as that blacket went on me i stopped. They were going to put me under to put it back in shocket because the pair would be to great but they couldnt until my mom got there.. she got that all calm and tryed to get brandon to stop crying.. the last thing i remember is Dr. Collins saying, " count from 100 to 1" and bam i was out. They gave me to much sleeping shit and when i woke three hours later..there was brandon staring at me i freaked out and my heart thing started to spike and the alarm went off.. i didnt remember what happened, and i didnt know where i was.. after that i calm down and i went home cast and all. later i learned that brandon had went out to shoot the horse but his father stopped him.. but the horse had gashs on his mouth cause brandon had ridding his mouth piece out of its mouth and caused it to bleed. it wasnt the horses fault i was using the wrong bit and ridding it the wrong way cause i didnt know how to ride. It was brandons fault for not getting me proper ridding classes first. Aftter that i wasnt allowed to touch or do anything with the horse for over a year and had to go to a whole bunch of therpy to get my left arm to go staright again and to this day wont really go straight again. After all that it opened the door to the second part of my hillsdale nightmare.. but thats a other story for a other night.